The Power of Self-Discipline

What Is Worth Choosing?

Once upon a time, there was a lion cub called Hera.  Most of her days were spent playing games with the other cubs in the pride and learning how to hunt. She longed to become a great huntress and was in admiration of Kinga, who was the most skilled amongst the lionesses. 

Kinga had the virtue of patience, the physical strength to run as fast as the wind and the strength of character to self-discipline herself.  Although Hera wanted to grow up to be like Kinga, watching her from a distance and dreaming of being like her seemed far easier than when she tried to do as she did. To wait patiently, for her prey whilst hunger consumed her body and mind was an onerous task. Hera would often jump out of the bushes too early or give up the prey she really had her eye on for the first movement in the push indicating an easier possibility or a welcome distraction.

“How does Kinga control her hunger AND focus?!”, Hera wondered to herself.

One day, as the pride had gathered around a recent offering that Kinga had brought to share with all, Hera found herself curiously drawn to her.  Anxiously excited, she started to walk over.  Kinga seemed magnificent once Hera was in front of her.

Hera: “Thank you for sharing your catch of the day.”

“Your welcome, Hera”, purred Kinga with a confident smile.  “One day, in the near future, you will hopefully do the same.”

Such a possibility, sent a shiver down Hera’s Spine.  The thought of her being able to bring in such a prey for others to feast on brought a wave of joy and pride in her. However, the rapidly built cloud of aspiration was just as easily blown away when Hera heard Kinga’s inquiry: “How's your hunting developing?”

Hera shifted uncomfortably from side to side;  with her head down she admitted: “Poorly. I am impatient and get distracted easily. It's not good!”

Kinga laughed out loud: “You're curious and playful, that's not bad. I remember being playful too, when I was younger. In fact, I still enjoy being playful and remain curious. I have just learnt to balance those traits against focus and patience.”

Kinga moved over to Hera and with a solid determination in her voice, she encouraged:  “You, too, can develop patience and focus.  But only IF you want to…”

Hera looked up with great enthusiasm: “Oh, I want to.  I really want to be just like you”

Kinga: “Well, you can do better and be just like the Hera you desire to be. Still, let's start with why do you want to be like me?”

Hera: “Because I, too want to be an exceptional huntress, to be independent and to catch something bigger to share with others.”

Kinga: “What do you think it would require to develop such a capability?”

Hera: “A LOT of willpower?!”

Kinga: “That's a nice start. Have a go and I will see you here in a week to hear how it went”.

Hera who was brimming with impatience objected: “Can’t you tell me the answer now?”

Kinga: “First try”.

After a week, Kinga and Hera met up at the same place.

Kinga: “How did it go?”

Hera: “Frankly, the first few days it rained which made me feel lethargic. Then it was gloriously sunny and I got easily distracted. At the end, I was famished and despite trying I was too tired to finish the chase. So when my friend brought her catch of the day and offered to share some, I happily took her up on her offer.”

Kinga: “I see.”

Hera: “I don't think willpower will be enough on its own!”

Kinga looked at a distance introspectively: “There are days, that I, too am tired. Or I might feel down or lazy. I learnt that although I can utilise my willpower to push through, in the long run, that's not enough. With each unsuccessful chase, I am left with less energy, hungrier and worst of all disappointed. To make your desire become your reality you need to start developing a set of capabilities. You need to practice daily until you build yourself up physically and mentally. All of this starts with a difficult exercise - you need to practice saying “No” to yourself to avoid downgrading longer term aspiration for shorter term gains . When the impulse kicks in, you need to firmly overcome it with patience and determination. That needs a lot of practice, Hera, as does not getting distracted by your surroundings or others. The secret to that is Self-Discipline."  

Hera: “How is that different to willpower?”

Kinga: “Willpower is focused energy and to create that you need consistent and a thought-out plan of actions which you need self-discipline to carry out until it becomes a part of your being; a habit. They come in a package.”

Hera: “What if I can't do it? What if I can't be so self-disciplined and give in to what I want Now?”

Kinga: “I, too, cave into some indulgence at times.  It's not all or nothing. You simply give it your very best shot.  However, if you believe you can’t, then you are right - You can not!” 

 Hera waited for Kinga to continue and after a few minutes of silence she said: “That's it! You are not going to spur me on?!”

Kinga: “We all have a choice. You can choose to be terrible at this and give up. You can find reasons to prove it's out of your hands and you just can not be it. You stop trying because self-control, being mindful of your emotions, these are not easy tasks but they do produce desirable results.  Remember Hera,  self-discipline is NOT to punish yourself.  It’s to improve your competence and move you towards your best version.”

Hera thought out loud: “It sounds like, it's up to me what I focus on and how I frame it”.

After a few minutes of silence Hera looked up with a deep sense of determination and said: “I commit to practice every day, come rain or shine. I have a plan on how to do that.  I will start with a small prey.  Will you meet here in a week, Kinga, so I can tell you about it?

Kinga said with a smile: “Absolutely.”

Hera: “Thank you for supporting me.”

• Personal:

  • When was the last time you said “no” to an impulse in order to achieve a longer term “Yes”?

  • What keeps you from following through even when you have the awareness that self-discipline could be valuable?

  • Who do you admire and how does that help or hinder you towards achieving your goal?

  • How do your daily habits contribute towards being the best version of yourself?

  • What type of relationship/ friendship supports you towards self-improvement & growth?

• Parenting:

  • In a world where instant gratification is fast becoming the norm, how can we teach our children the value of self-discipline through positive influence?

• Organisation:

  •   How does your commitment to the mission of your organisation impact your daily energy and motivation?

“Self-respect is the fruit of discipline; the sense of dignity grows with the ability to say no to oneself.”

-Abraham Joshua Heschel